wake up i wanna do it froggy style
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
