I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Boobs are out for the taking
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
