Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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