This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
