no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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