There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize