OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
