I heard we made out
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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