I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
