You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
