you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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