I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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