i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Randomize
