she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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