We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
