have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
