Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
