brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
