he puts the penis in happiness.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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