It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
