hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
