Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
