none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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