i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My vagina just recognized that song.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
