The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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