But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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