and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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