Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
