her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
