He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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