I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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