I bet he comes in French.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
