how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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