Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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