i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I've blown a few things in my day
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
