Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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