your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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