she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
