Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize