break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
