went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
