I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize