She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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