Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
