everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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