great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
