Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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