awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
