so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
