My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
