If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
how does that bad decision feel?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
