She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
