Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I look better un-naked...
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Randomize
