it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
