Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
