So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm getting married
To pizza
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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