I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
