i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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