Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
