taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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