the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
