when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
