apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
