why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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