Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize