i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
honey bunches of taint.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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