I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
