Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Randomize
