im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
