Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You are a genius and a whore.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
