There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
