Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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