Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Randomize
