Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
